Monday, September 06, 2004

Another 6 Minutes

Man does not live by red-meat right-wing politics alone!

From time to time I will recount the lighter side of dating as a single 30-something.

One service I use caters to graduates of Ivy and similar schools. After viewing a short advertisement and possibly a picture, for a small fee one can then order a more in-depth biography along with contact information.

One of the questions on the long bio asks about one's "Social-political views".

Oh boy... (!)

The odd thing is apparently Ivy-league women are surprisingly left-wing. Far left wing.

Or at least, the ones who are still single into their thirties are...

At least 90% of them write something like "Progressive", "Liberal", or, shockingly, "Progressively Liberal", and usually add the friendly codicil, "and it's important to me that my partner is as well!"

So clearly one can see my problem, given that my bio there looks much like my description on my profile here.

Well lately, I just wasted another $12.90 on 4 more bios.

Even given the answers from before, nothing prepared me for what I was about to see.

One had answered

Social-Political Views:I grew up at a Socialist summer camp. Very liberal. Very.
Ok....

Socialist Summer Camp?!? What do they do there, make leather covers for Mao's Little Red Book?

And then this: "I am open to most backgrounds...conservatives need not apply."

Now what was that about open minded-ness again?

Here, I'll save you $100,000 on tuition, room and board: just take a big nail and drive it up your nose for a frontal lobotomy.

Same end result at a cost of about 10 cents.

Another system I've tried several times is "pre-dating", in which you meet a new person every 6 minutes, then fill out a card saying who you'd like to meet again, and if both people match you both get the contact information the next day.

It's pretty fun actually.

But I still haven't made any matches.

Gee, I wonder why? :-)

The topic of movies came up (like it always does), and when asked what I've seen recently, well, I had been watching some weird, silly Vincent Price & Peter Lorre movies like The Raven.

Bad choice to discuss!

You know you're digging a hole when you find yourself having to explain who Vincent Price is: "you know the guy in Edward Scissorhands? No, not Johnny Depp, the old one! Uh..."

On the other hand, I'd know I had a match made in heaven if she had responded, "Why yes, I LOVED him in The Conqueror Worm!" And then we'd quote in unison, "You took him from me! YOU TOOK HIM FROM ME!!" (I don't really enjoy this movie but the finale is effective).

Ok, that's not gonna happen in a million years.

But at least I had enought sense not to talk about Dario Argento's horror-thriller Phenomena, which features the mutated homicidal progeny of the criminally insane, a domesticated razor-wielding chimp, and a heroine (a 15 year-old Jennifer Connelly) with a strange psychic rapport with insects...

When several of the young women had mentioned they had also tried 8-minute dating (apparently there's a version of this concept for every minute from 5 to 8), I would quip, "oh, is it 33% better than 6-minute dating?"

That tended to produce blank stares.

I also didn't do myself any favors when, told by one that she had cried during the three-hanky chick-flick The Notebook, I responded "Oh, I also cried, during Spider Man 2!"

Survey says........BUZZZZ!!!

Well, I thought it was funny...

The last chick I met that night, an asian, was radiating a serious 'tude. As I sat down she sneered in a combination of boredom and contempt and opened with, "I'm a doctor; what do you do?"

I thought to inject a note of levity: "I'm a physicist. So I'm a doctor too -- but not a real one."

She was unamused.

Looks like I'm headed for... (wait for it) ...

Another 6 Minutes!


2 Comments:

Blogger Joseph said...

It's a well-known fact that Ph.D. stands for Phony Doctor.

9:40 PM, September 06, 2004  
Anonymous Jim Online said...

I think it is one of my best reads for the day. It was informative and it never failed to catch my attention. By and large, this entry deserves more credit. Wait until it spreads.

3:28 AM, November 21, 2005  

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