From the Police Logs

At one time I lived in Concord, Massachusetts. I just found an envelope in which I had collected clippings from the local paper from the police logs that I had found amusing, bizarre, or otherwise noteworthy as indicative of the issues facing small-town New England: namely, nosy busybodies with too much time on their hands.

These are all actual entries, circa 1997.

At 1:04 am, police investigated a loud noise complaing on Pilgrim Road. The residents were informeed that MBTA workers and street sweepers were in the area.

At 1:22 am a Fairhaven Road resident called police to complain of a loud noise in the area. The caller was informed that street sweepers had just driven down the street.

I could fill up the whole list with reports of loud railroad or maintenance workers, or of buses idling "too long".

What's this, a sighting of the first Flasher of Spring?

At 12:14 pm, police investigated reports of a suspicous person in the bushes at the library on Main Street.

At 8:02 pm a resident reported that a man exposed himself to her while she was jogging.

At 10:11 pm, police investigated reports of a suspicious person on Main Street.

That was the most serious incident since the series of 9 reports of mailbox vandalism over a weekend.

Usually it's more along these lines:

An anonymous caller reported that a spider was trapped inside a parking meter on Comm. Ave. Police investigated and removed the spider.

An anonymous caller thanked the police for taking care of the spider that was trapped in aparking meter on Comm. Ave. last week.

A Wellesley resident called police to report that she believed a bracelet stolen from her is in the window of a Concord store. Police accompanied her to the store, and found the claim to be unfounded.

Police responded to Monument Street to deliver a trespassing notice to a man refusing to leave a resident's property. The man told the resident that he wants to run for president and use the house for campaign headquarters.

Police were notified by a Concord resident of the lights being too bright on Commonwealth Avenue.

A Walden Street resident reported there were thousands of blackbirds across the street from her home and were making a lot of noise. The caller said she was not scared by the birds, she just wanted to make sure the police were aware of them.

Police responded to Comm. Ave. for a resident reporting that someone had showered at his home while he wasn't there. There was no sign of trespassing.

A Florio Drive resident reported that she believes someone entered her home and placed her cat in the attic.

An illegal transmission of a belching sounds on the police main frequency was heard.

A Central Street resident reported his telephone line is being "zapped." No more information was given.

A Bedford Street resident reported her garbage can lid was missing. Police helped her find it.

A Comm. Ave. resident reported that the outline of a body had been painted in the alley near his home.

Finally something interesting?

A Wolf Pine resident reported seeing a suspicous man driving a golf cart and carrying a shovel in the area of the Concord Country Club. Police found the man was maintaining the club's irrigation system.

Nope.

A Wright Farm resident reported that he often walks near the prison at night and requested police give him a friendly wave when they pass him in order to assure him that police do not think he is an escapee. The caller was told that patrol officers would be advised of his request.

...and they'll get right to it as soon as they stop laughing!

At 12:04 pm, a man reported that a vehicle passed him at a high rate of speed and did not yield to him while he was in the crosswalk by the South Bridge Boat House on Main Street. He said he threw a pedestrian cone near the car.

At 12:36 pm, a driver reported that while passing the South Bridge Boat House, a man stepped into the road and hit her car with the pedestrian cone he was holding. The sign damaged the right front quarter of the car. Police are investigating the incident.

Hmmm, like the Worms and the Spice, could there be a connection between those reports???

Nah.

Police were called to Sudbury Road for a report of a man in a tutu walking along the street. Police spoke with the man, who was wearing a woman's style swimsuit and tennis skirt, and said he was just going for a walk.

Ok, that's a little weird and perhaps worthy of investigation, but what about these?

At 1:31 pm, a caller reported a suspicious person in the Pine Hill Lane area. The person was out for a walk.

At 2:04 pm, police investigated a report of a suspicious person in St. Bernard's Cemetery. An officer spoke with the man who was just walking.

At 5:55 pm, police resonded to Lowell Road for a report of a suspicious man sitting in a car at the Brooks Pharmacy parking lot. The man was waiting for his wife who was shopping.

Police investigated a report of a suspicous person in a car at the Hapgood Wright Forest. The woman was just sitting in her vehicle singing.

Police responded to Monsen Road for a report of a person sitting in a car on the street. The woman is considering purchasing a home on the street and told police she was sitting there to observe the noise and traffic at night.

Police received a report of a man acting strangely near Route 2. The man was practicing tai chi on the side of the road to help his back problems.

A resident reported a suspicious car at the Alcott School. Police confirmed it was a police car.

There are too many more like that to list them all.

Police work is hard, but there are perks:

At 11:18 am, police received a box of chocolates.

At 2:45 pm, the Middlesex School dropped off two cakes and an apple pie at the police station, and Scimone Farms left apples.

At 3:36 pm, a resident left chocolates, coffee, and biscotti -- a holiday gift -- in the police station.

At 5:07 pm, police recieved a turkey and other food from Concord Academy. Police later received a deli tray and soda from a resident.

Killjoys abound:

A caller reported three people were throwing rocks into White Pond, possibly trying to hit a buoy. Police found three people who had been fishing from the shore. They said they had been skipping stones when a woman yelled at them to stop.

An anonymous caller requested that police keep an extra watch on the Old Marlboro and Williams roads area in order to speak to two joggers who run side-by-side every day. The caller said she felt this was a safety issue.

A caller reported that a neighbor's dog would not let him pass on Garfield Road when he was jogging. The matter was turned over to the dog officer.

A resident reported driving by a group of people in Lincoln near Walden Pond who appeared to be ignoring someone who needed medical attention. The people were students from Emerson College making a short movie.

The movie, no doubt, being about how quickly Concord residents respond to the slightest hint of deviancy.

A Harrington Avenue resident reported that her children confronted an unknown woman digging up flowers in her yard. The woman said she was "fixing" the flowers.

Right. And I'm "adjusting" your breasts.

As for adding insult to injury:

At 12:46 pm an Upland Road resident reported that his lawn has been damaged the previous night and several times in the past few months by cars driving over it.

At 10:02 am, police investigated the larceny of markers placed on the lawn of an Upland Road residence to prevent vehicles from driving on his land. The resident also reported that a vehicle had driven on his land.

Everyone wants to be Thoreau:

A Cottage Street resident reported a man had built a lean-to on private property behind his house. The man told police he is homeless and frequents the Cambridge area but comes to Concord when his job as a graphic designer becomes stressful.

And those darn kids!

At 7:54 pm, police resonded to Westford Road for a complaing of boys building a tree fort and making noise hammering. The boys agreed to stop work for the night.

At 11:15 am, police investigatd a report of kids having acookout in the parking lot at the high school. They were not violating any fire codes. They moved to the Hapgood Wright parking lot.

At 8:40 pm, an Everett Gardens resident reported several youths playing with what sounded like cap guns outside. Police checked the area but found nothing.

Police responded to Thoreau Street for a report of a group of youths with eggs. The teenagers were having afriendly egg fight, and there was no damage to nearby buildings or property.

At 6:35 pm, a caller reported that several skateboarders were "doing dangerous things" behind the Harvey Wheeler Community Center. Police resonded and spoke with four youths, who agreed to call it a night.

I love this one:

Police responded to a 911 call from the West Concord Supermarket. The caller stated that a man was acting very suspiciously and representing himself as a news reporter. Police spoke with the man, who is a reporter for USA today.

Welcome to Concord, buddy!